Top Ten Reasons Baseball Hall-of-Famers Would Use Houndstooth
(10). Tinker recommended us to Evers who passed it along to Chance.
(9). Joe DiMaggio's Mr. Coffee machine leaked onto his trophy room carpet.
(8). Ozzie Smith finds his carpet too slick for cartwheels.
(7). After his brother Daffy "slud" on his kitchen carpet, Dizzy Dean decided it was time to act.
(6). Yogi Bear spilled egg salad from a pilfered "picinic" basket, and...., oh, sorry, wrong Yogi.
(5). Yogi Berra would like to use us, but figures, "no one uses Houndstooth; they're too busy."
(4). Burleigh Grimes is tired of people asking him if he was named after his carpets.
(3). Rollie Fingers requires someone to remove an unsightly mustache wax stain.
(2). Bid McPhee needs someone to clean up after his big "Bid McPhee Induction" celebration.
(1). Ted Williams needs us to clean up some water damage from the power outage that thawed him out.
Top Ten Reasons The Braves of Old Would Use Houndstooth
(10). Terry Forster's carpet looks like a tub of goo.
(9). Gaylord Perry constantly has water damage in the rec room where he practices his pitches.
(8). With our same day service, we can often be at your house quicker than Bruce Benedict could round the bases.
(7). Al Hrabosky went wild in his dining room with a plate of goulash.
(6). Gene Garber has a few streaks in his carpet that he would like to put an end to.
(5). Bill Naharodny would be flattered that we can spell his name correctly on the receipt.
(4). Although coffee stains don't seem to be a problem, Dale Murphy has "got milk" on his dining room carpet.
(3). Pascual Perez would be impressed that we have no problem locating our customers, whether inside or outside I-285.
(2). Every time he returns from a sporting event these days, Bob Uecker creates nose-bleed stains on his carpets.
(1). They know that we offer an even better deal than the Cleveland Indians got when they gave up Len Barker.
Top Ten Reasons Former Super Bowlers would Use Houndstooth
(10). Franco Harris ('74, '75, '78, '79) likes the immaculate state of his carpets after our cleaning.
(9). Terry Bradshaw ('74, '75, '78, '79) got excited about our great deals after his tutor read him our ads.
(8). John Madden ('76) just dropped a Twinkie (BAM!) on the den carpet and a Fig Newton (BOOM!) on the oriental rug.
(7). Kordell Stewart ('95) thinks we're just so fantabulous.
(6). Still rebelling against his Brigham Young days, Jim McMahon ('85) spilled a ton of coffee on his carpets.
(5). Boyd Dowler ('67) would just be flattered that we remember his name.
(4). Jim Marshall ('69, '73, '74 and '76) having read our ad backwards and forward (mostly backward), knows a good deal when he sees one.
(3). (Insert your own William "The Refrigerator" Perry ('85) joke here for an additional 10% off).
(2). After bobbling a plate of goulash, Garo Yepremian ('71, '72, '73) inexplicably tossed it into the air and onto the carpet.
(1). Joe Namath ('68) knows that the guarantee on our work is as sure a thing as his guarantee over the Colts.
Top Ten Reasons World Series MVPs Would Use Houndstooth
10. Rollie Fingers (1974) has unsightly wax stains that dripped from his handlebar onto his den carpet.
9. Brooks Robinson (1970) wishes now he'd never chosen his den as the place to practice turning double plays.
8. Derek Jeter (2000) would like his carpets to be as clean as his public image.
7. Although he only puts his odds at 100-1 that he'll ever make Cooperstown, Pete Rose (1975) knows that if he does, we're a sure bet to get his Trophy Room carpet clean for his victory party.
6. Little known fact: Just one mistake in choosing one of our competitors years ago earned John Wetland (1996) his name.
5. Junior Samples dribbled Red Man juice down his overalls onto his pal Johnny Bench's (1976) shag carpet.
4. Although there's not much we can do for his face, Randy Johnson (2001) knows that we can do wonders on his nasty looking carpet.
3. Don Larsen (1956) is looking for a perfect carpet cleaner, as he has earned that right.
2. Tom Glavine (1995) has ripples in his carpet that are inflating faster than his All-Star game ERA.
1. Nobody (1994) can get carpet as clean as we can.
TOP 10 REASONS TO USE HOUNDSTOOTH DURING MARCH MADNESS
(10). To clean up after Uncle Al's premature "February Madness" party.
(9). We hate carpet soil more than Bobby Knight hates metal chairs.
(8). Your den carpet looks like the aftermath of a "Cameron Crazy" victory party.
(7). The odor in your den carpet is so bad, your face is starting to resemble Coach K's.
(6). Many of our competitors are as ethically challenged as John Calipari.
(5). One more mistake on the carpet and Fido will become a "Diaper Dandy" himself.
(4). Your husband spilled his drink in disbelief while watching a white guy slam dunk.
(3). Why settle for NIT quality carpet cleaning when we can take you to the Big Dance?
(2). We'll eliminate your carpet soil better than Duke will eliminate Slippery Rock.
(1). Houndstooth is seeded Number One among carpet cleaners in Metro Atlanta.